PurposeI set out on this qualitative investigation in order to grow intercultural communicative competence (ICC) by answering questions I have had about the differences between the cultures of my two homes. I examined feminist anthropological theories of the macro-region sur Andino regarding Marianism and absent fathers in the mestizo population, the role of panaka, and the collapse of ayllu.Design/methodology/approachThe autoethnography lent itself to answering these questions due to my position as a son in the two cultures. Autoethnography explicitly adds both the first-person voice to the research and the authors' positionality. The typology used is analytical realist.FindingsI used my memories of my mother and mother-in-law, "mi suegra," to dialog with the literature and attempt to highlight and explain the differences in the maternal gender roles of the mestizo Latina culture and the British-Canadian culture.Practical implicationsThis research serves as a tool for both language learning and global citizenship education. Language students, teachers and investigators may strengthen their ICC through reflection on cultural differences.Social implicationsThe research has the potential to inform and inspire educational and social interventions aimed at promoting more equitable and inclusive gender roles. By shedding light on gender stereotypes, this work could be a valuable resource for teachers, family counselors and support service professionals.Originality/valueThe portrait painted of the maternal gender roles of the cultures of Latin America and Canada adds to intercultural competence and sensitivity.